First off, happy Saturday everyone. Hope you have a fun weekend.
Now on to more seriousness..
I adore blogging. Its a way for me to write anything and everything about my life down and not be afraid of getting judged. A few posts back I wrote about my struggles and I honestly didn't expect anyone to comment on it. But, I did get a comment and it made me feel like I am not alone. That other people do also have those sorts of feelings.
I'm not going to sugar coat it. I lack in positivity, big time. My mind is filled with negativity and as hard as I try to overcome it, the thoughts are always there. For years I have been struggling to fit in with society as "the norm". The fear of being different and getting judged. Shiver! It had gotten to the point where I agreed with everyones criticism about me. I know. You're probably sitting there shaking your head at me.
A few weeks ago, I realised that I have insecurities. Giving it much thought and time being upset about it all, I wanted to change. I know that when someone says they want to "change", others assume its for a guy. But no, I am doing this for myself. I have held onto so much resentment and anger from occurrences that happened in the past. And in all honesty, whats the point on being upset that happened years ago when there is nothing you can do to go back and fix a situation. I always compare myself to other girls and wish I was like them. "I wish I was confident like her....I wish I was pretty like her...I wish I was "popular" like her" When really I should be acknowledging my strengths and what I do have. I always think of the worst of situations and get disappointed when things don't go to plan. I always live in the future and never the present.
Now, I didn't have an epiphany and wake up one morning and automatically change the way that I'm thinking and now I'm a brand new person. No. I came across a blog and after reading a couple of posts, I was seriously hooked. Marc and Angel Hack Life Practical Tips for Productive Living has made me realise that rejuvenating positive energy will give you a positive outlook in life. Life isn't meant to be hard. I bought the ebook and slowly reading through all the articles about positivity. I realised that I can't be living in the past or the future and that I should be more appreciative and grateful for what I do have now and how far I have gotten.
Is anyone else suffering from negativity? What did you do to get through it? Is there anything that you're holding on to that you need to let go?
I also tend to think negatively most of the time. It's like my brain automatically assumes the worst. I think I'm stuck in that pattern and the only way to get out of it is to train your brain to be positive. A few years ago when I was super, super sad and depressed, I realized how negative my mind was. I was my biggest bully! To get myself out of that rut, I forced myself to look in the mirror every day and say something nice about myself. It sounds silly to talk to your reflection, but after a few weeks of forcing myself to do that -- it started to become natural. Instead of automatically thinking negative things, my mind focused on the positive side of things more.
ReplyDeleteBut within the past few years, I started thinking negatively again, and I think I'm stuck back in that negative state of mind. I'm trying really hard to focus on positive things, but this weekend I realized I need to forgive myself for my actions before I can truly be positive about who I am and all that stuff.
I find it so annoying that as much as you try to not think negatively you automatically just do it :(
DeleteForgiving sounds so much easier then it is though. Maybe have a look at the ebook I mentioned. Its making me realise a lot of things xx